Tihare?

Which means "Is it far?". Now there are two things that you can never trust a Ugandan with….time and distance. I don’t know how many times I have been in a car and someone has said that it is just near here. You can end up spending up to another hour driving. So you would think by now I would know that “just near” is “just a lie”. On Sunday I went to visit my friend’s family in a different district called Ibanda. I have been to Ibanda Town and know how much fuel it would take to get there so I asked how far past Ibanda Town it was. He said that it was 6 miles….ok no big deal 6 miles that’s about 10 km. So I fueled up with enough fuel to go there. After passing Ibanda Town we go 10 km and we aren’t there yet. My friend then asks if he can drive as we are now very close and he would love to drive into the village. I am reluctant but allow him to drive but allow him. So now he is driving. We go 20 km still no stop then 30 km and we stop…okay we must be here. Nope we are stopping at his grandmother’s house for a quick visit. We pile back into the car and drive for ANOTHER 20 km and we have finally reached his trading centre…ahhh we are here. No no he lives on a farm…another 2 km. Now you do the math he said 10 km and we have now gone 72 km. Now I am sure you are thinking no big deal an extra 60 km…an extra 40 minutes. Oh my dear friends how wrong you are. These roads are not Canadian roads they aren’t even dirt roads to a farm they are merely paths. An extra 60 km at 30 km/h (when times are good) adds at least 2 extra hours. By the time we arrived it was clear that we wouldn’t be returning that day so we spent the night. Now this family is 10 boys and 1 girl…there was some serious bed sharing going…even for me. I shared at best a single bed (it seemed a lot smaller) with my good friend Dan who is about the same size as me. There was some serious cramming going on and the sleep wasn’t that great. I woke up the next morning and I certainly wasn’t the world’s happiest camper…spent the night, and extra 60 km, and a very small bed for two grown men. After I had some really nice tea and had a little farm tour I was in my glory not to mention the fact that the family gave me a rooster

And a goat.

The rooster is yet to be named but the goat is affectionately named after me…Kenty (it’s how they say my name in local language). In the end I left the goat at their farm (much to their disappointment, but really…what am I going to do with a goat?) the rooster has taken up residence with my three other chickens (one rooster and two hens) and has caused quite a raucous in the hen house.

This week two more vets from Canada will join me so that should be fun to have some company. It makes me a little sad as I know that it means my time here is coming to an end much quicker than I can imagine.

Got Milk?

Well the widows that I work with sure do. Last week I made the trek to Masaka (a town about 120 km from mine) to visit a progressive small farm and to purchase some dairy goats. I went with Musabe and Asiimwe....the Innocents. It was an absolute blast! We went on Thursday, stayed the night in a hotel complete with TV, HOT water, and huge beds! I think they were in their glory...they also discovered I had a video camera and felt it necessary to make some movies, including a music video...

We stayed up really late dancing to music videos and trying to get artistic with my camera (apparently we aren't so good at it). We woke up the next morning fairly early as we needed to pick up the goats. Now my original plan was to buy 10 goats and bring them home in the organisations truck. Unfortunately when I went to leave from home the keys were MIA. I looked and looked but could not find them...time for Plan B. Okay now Plan B involves using the new Suzuki Escuido...now I don't know if you know what a Suzuki Escuido is but it is relatively close to the little red Tracker my sisters and I used to drive....slight larger and with 4 doors but we are talking 10 goats here. So I show up at the farm to pick the goats and the man tells me he has my THIRTEEN goats just over there. 13???? Apparently we had a misunderstanding and due to some reasons (that aren't really important here) I needed to take all 13. Ok so I was worried about 10 but 13? Did I mention that it is pouring rain and these goats are really muddy and really wet? Well they are! We didn't waste any time and started to pile in the goats...usually I use that as a figure of speech but this time it is quite literal. Somehow we managed and all 13 goats were in my car (there's always room for more right?).

Please don't forget we are now 3 grown men who must squeeze into those 2 buckets seats in the front of the car. The guys took turns straddling the gear shifter and sitting on the storage compartment in the middle. We still managed to sing and dance the entire way home....despite the awful smell (after a few hours 13 goats aren't gonna wait for a pitt stop to do their business), the incredible amount of humidity (13 wet goats are sure to make a little moisture) and empty stomachs (13 dairy goats pretty much cleaned out my pocket book and we had to skip breakfast).

We made the entire trek back to my town (120km) plus out to my area of work (another 25 km) taking about 3 hours and then we took a supper break (for the goats obviously).

Then we started to distribute the goats. My women and children were so incredibly happy as they have been waiting for these animals for quite some time now. I will head out next week and do some thorough health checks on each animal which will keep me busy.

Needless to say my car was an absolute distaster and can't put "Carrying 13 goats in a Suzuki Escuido" on my "Top 10 Best Ideas" list but as usualy it was an adventure. Still hoping to get in my car and not feel like I have just been peed on by a goat but not getting my hopes too high.

No place for an "Atkins"er

Well if you love starchy foods then Uganda is the place for you. If you are on the Atkins diet…I suggest you look elsewhere. I am not exactly sure why these people refuse to grow anything but starch...but they do. When I first arrived I thought it was just my luck that everywhere I went they just served some different type of starch. Turns it's pretty much all they have to offer. Go to any restaurant or home and you will get a variety of about six. When I was in the village with the Innocents I realised that even if someone tells you we are having appetizers....it's starch.

They look like potatoes? Yep! They are.....sweet potatoes that we ate just as they are....boiled but we ate them as finger food. They weren't too bad but a little dry on their own.

The most common starch is for sure the Matooke. It is technically a banana that is still green….really green, however it tastes nothing like a banana. It kind of reminds me of cucumber mixed with potatoe. While they haven’t branched much from Matooke they have learned to cook it in anyway possible.

Mashed

Boiled

Steamed

Or you can eat it roasted with Muchomo.

When taking Matooke you must take not just Matooke but one or two side dishes as well. Don’t worry it's still starch but you have a few options.

Chipati - these are actually really good...almost like a pancake, really nice with peanut butter and bananas (it is the triangular thing in the back left).

Irish Potatoes (what we would simply call a potatoe).

Fried Cabbage and Rice

Pumpkin (little orange piece in the back there) and the white stuff is Posho. Posho is a millet flour dumpling of sorts. I am not exactly sure how they prepare it, but it loosely resembles a dumpling.

Then there is the driest most starchy food God invented (well maybe he actually didn't intend it to be eaten). Cassava, it's a root....and that's pretty much what it tastes like...root. It's one of the few foods I actually really don't care for.

Then when you are ready to wet your whistle why not wet it with...STARCH?? They drink all these flour/water mixtures that are somewhat like porridge but certainly no Apple Cinnamon, Maple or even sweetened porridge here just water and some form of flour. If you really feel adventurous you can try the one that has been sitting for 3 days. It puts hair on your chest (and if you know me ....I certainly don't need anymore of that).

Now there are a few other options aside from starch and if you are into eating cow’s stomach, goot hoof, or cow’s udder….be my guest. I have tried them all but certainly have not become addicted in anyway, shape or form.

Here is Joshua roasting a little piece of udder. It was much better than expected but I am not going to go around ordering if I get the chance again.

Some rumen (a little too reminiscent of a post mortem for me)…

And of course you all remember the hoof…but for those of you who don’t…

I am certainly not starving and have actually really come to love some of these foods. I am trying to learn to make them so I can make them when I get back to Canada. People here say that I am getting fat from all the starch I eat but the way my jeans hang off me tell a different story.

Also, I must apologize for my lack of posts. Work has been slow recently which means not a lot to report on. I will try and get a little more regular (with the posts people!).

Certainly not Guilty...

Well I just spent an amazing weekend with two of my greatest friends here in Uganda. One of them you know...he is called Innocent. The other one you don't know but here is my other good friend....INNOCENT! (remember I met 4 in one day....)

For ease of understanding I will use their surnames in my entry. So the Innocent from before is called Aswiimwe Innocent and the new one is called Mushabe Innocent.

Mushabe was in my town for a training session on monogamy (a serious issue here) last week. I told him that he should come to my place for Friday night and we would go out and eat Muchomo. He was absolutely ecstatic about the idea and accepted the invite readily. So on Friday night I picked him up from the workshop and we went out to meet a couple Muzungo girls from Edmonton for Muchomo. He was pretty pumped to have his picture taken with the beautiful Muzungo girl and eventhough he couldn't really talk to her he was loving life!

He also ordered more Muchomo than I have ever seen anyone order and ate all of it. We then went back to my place where I showed him pictures of hockey and ice which absolutley boggled his mind. We chatted to all hours of the night trying to understand one another (he only made it to Grade 5 so English isn't super strong). We then woke very early the next morning to get ready for our day. I got ready while he tried to figure out how to use a laptop and my cell phone (this boy really is from "The Village"). I shaved and then went to the bathroom to brush my teeth. When I came back to my room he was holding my electric razor with the most puzzled look on his face. He honestly looked like a monkey trying to figure out what the heck it was. I tried to explain what it was and then he asked if he could try. So I let him have a go. It was hilarious...I wasn't laughing out loud but inside I was dying. He was puffing his cheeks and using the wrong end of the razor. I had to show him...showing him meant me using the razor on his face...ha ha ha what a hoot! He finally got it and then done as he had seen me do...put on aftershave (I am sure not really knowing why he was doing it) which made him feel like a million bucks!

I was then to take Mushabe to Kaberebere and drop him so he could get home and in the process pick up Asiimwe as he and I were going "Deep into the Village" as they call it. We were going to his home village Kikagate. When we arrived to pick Assiimwe I had to get a picture of the three of us...I mean really how often do you meet an Innocent? Let alone 2? Add a Kent and you get Innokent (their idea not mine).

Mushabe then decided that he too should come to Kikagate and Asiimwe was very excited to extend the invite. So Innokent made the long (eventhough I was told it was near) trekk to Kikagate. When we arrived the view alone was worth it.

The place was absolutely beautiful. Similar to the foothills I guess but much greener. I forced them to climb the huge hills with me which was apparently so "Muzungo" of me but it was quite grand up there and you could see Tanzania which was pretty cool.

Of course it didn't take long before the whole village had heard that Aswiimwe had brought a Muzungo to the village and even less time before I was invited into just about every home to eat. I learned it is really rude to turn down an offer to eat. So we ate...and ate and ate...I seriously felt soooo incredibly sick and it seemed the 2 foods which I don't care for in Uganda kept being served over and over again! We finally finished eating our 4th supper (no lie) at midnight and we slept in a really nice home. And let me tell you...in the village you can SLEEP. It was so quiet I felt like I could have slept forever...unfortunately in the village you don't actually sleep but wake at about 6. At 6 Asiimwe came and laid on my mattress and asked if I wanted to go to Tanzania for the day? Uhhhhh...heck yes I do. I'll post some about Tanzania later this week. My internet time has come to a close. I am truly blessed to have amazing God fearing men here in Uganda as my closest friends. I still feel like I am on Cloud 9 (not sure where that is...but it feels nice regardles!).

There's always room for one more....

or 8 more in this case.

So today I went to Lyantonde to pay for Charles' school fees. They chased him away last week when his funds ran out. Thanks to an amazing friend of mine (Tanis Palmer) I was able to take the remaining school fees for this semester to him. He was super excited. My car is in the shop today so it was time to really test out public transport. The ride there was uneventful but the 52 km back was an experience.



We started with 15 people in a minivan...yep 15... a minivan. Ok it wasn't really that big of a deal...it was squished but I was breathing and happy. Not too far along we slow down and pick this women and her baby...ok two more people....getting a little more squished. Then we see this man in all yellow waving us down, he is standing with a large group of young boys (maybe 16 years old). Our driver gets out and talks and debates for a bit then what do I see? EIGHT BOYS complete with suitcases coming towards the van. So we slowly start to squish more...okay obviously squishing isn't going to enough....time to sit on laps. I am not talking half of a cheek I am talking full on sitting on laps. So some guy is sitting on my lap. Do we know each other? Certainly not. Do we even so much as exchange names or a hello? No sir. We sit there as if everything is just as normal as can be. Now if you have been keeping track we are now 23 people and one baby....ohhh yeah and some chickens (I never saw them but I certainly heard them). We must be at capacity right? I mean I have someone ON MY LAP! Nope why not stop for one more lady...with her baby!

Ok let's keep a few things in mind here:
1) Now 25 people in a minivan.
2) We have 50 km remaining.
3) Ugandans drive like they want to die.
4) There are potholes the size of swimming pools here which means my legs are likely bruised from the guy on my lap.
5) The driver continues to try and get more passengers...how does he do this? By driving with the sliding door open and hollering out at people obviously.

Anyway, this is just another tidbit to add to my African memories...I would be lying if I said I wasn't smirking the entire way home, pinching myself every so often to make sure I was really in my own life.

My Tim Horton's

So I know you are now all feverishly consuming anywhere between 2-6 Timmy’s a day in hopes of winning the big moolah, the car, the TV or whatever the prizes are this year. I also know that although the chances of winning are about 1 in 8, you have likely won a cookie in the 20 purchases you have made. Well I certainly have no Tim Horton’s French Vanilla or soup and sandwich deal, but what I do have is the slightly less sophisticated “Tea Room”.

The Tea Room has become my second home. I frequent there at least twice a day, more on slow days. I don’t now nor have I ever really gone for the tea. Sure it is nice but for me…I go for the friends. I would say that if I never went into the Tea Room the day that I did, my experience in Uganda would be a whole lot different. If you recall it is where I first met Charles. Without the Tea Room I would never have gone to a wedding (and likely never run out of fuel), I would never have gone to Lyantonde, I never would have discovered good African Tea, I never would have made half the friends I have made. This weekend I was unable to go to the Tea Room for Friday evening and all day Saturday. When I showed up on Sunday they were all worried…asking where I had been and declaring that I was lost (when someone hasn’t seen in you a little while they say “Kent, you are lost!” I don’t actually think I have ever been lost in Uganda yet but I guess they lose me in a sense). Anyway, I have enjoyed many a cup of tea here, both paid for and free, but what is really great is the friendships. Last week we had a dance party at the tea room late one evening…I was teaching 2-step and the waltz which was hilarious and they were teaching me how to Calypso which I am sure was even more hilarious. I wanted to get pictures of all my friends at the tea room and with time I will but for now here are some of my good friends who have taken me under their wing and made me one of their own.

Mama Jane actually owns the Tea Room and is really really stubborn and I love it. We all laugh at this picture as she loves Cassava so much (she is holding it), so we laugh saying that you can tell she just got some roasted Cassava. Every picture we take now we say “Cassava” instead of “Smile” or something else.

Jane Junior and Flo (Florence) both work at the Tea Room. Flo full time and Jane when she isn’t at school. Everyone LOVES to pick on Jane and as soon as she sees many of the costumers you will see her run away to avoid getting noogied or hugged to death.

Glo (Gloria) is Charles’ sister and Grace is in the background. At one point I think she thought that her and I would be married….ha ha ha….thankfully she is over that phase and continues to be a really good teacher and translator for Mama Jane and I.

Norman and Charity. I tried to set Norman and Charity up but I don’t think it worked. Ha ha ha. Charity works at the Tea Room and Norman is a frequent costumer and works at a little shop nearby. I have also become very close with his family (2 brothers and father). I laugh at this picture as you can see that even older people love to have their snap taken. I think there are about 2 extra heads and a couple extra arms here.

Well all this type of tea has made a little hungry and thirsty not to mention wanting to go see everyone. Best of luck with Rrrrrolling Up the Rim to Win and if you do by some amazing feat win the car….remember that you owed me a coffee. If you don’t win….don’t give up hope, hang in there….you could be at the Tea Room where winning means you don’t find an ant in the sugar that day…now THAT my friends is a prize!